O2 correctly target sucker demographic with Irish iPhone launch

Photo owned by jlj4774 (cc)

O2 are launching the iphone in Ireland at why-don’t-you-just-rape-me prices. Smart move. They’re targeting the sucker generation with the ultimate sucker device. It’s a device designed for suckers. The iPhone relies on people being blinded by first-mover technology and uses that as an excuse for a business model that is the phone-contract equivelant of going around to the users mothers house and giving her a bit of a beating.

I love it. I applaud O2 for their boldness on this manouvre. They know that people in Ireland are pathetic when it comes to informed financial decisions. A portion of our society believe that if a product is more expensive it is better and more desirable, regardless of the nature of the product. O2 know all this, they know that whinging bloggers (like me) will only make it more desired, not less.

They know that you want it because you are a fucking moron. And morons make the best customers. Congratulations on being a whimsical spanner who bows down to technology instead of making technology bow down to you. How dare you support a product that doesn’t run any application you want straight away with NO strings attached. It’s locked. It’s proprietry. It’s designed to suck you in and lock you in.

Instead of starting from the position of ‘what can this device do for me and how will it’s functionality make my life easier’ you start from the perspective of wanting one and then work backwards. It’s so hilariously embarassing to so openly display such an obvious flaw for the world to see. It’s embarassing for both of us, but more so for me. Because I get to just sit there, and watch you support hilarious business models like O2’s. You create precedents for shite business models, and then help less functionality and less productivity become standard.

Congratulations Irish iPhone user. You are now O2 and Apple’s little bitch. I dream of a world where companies like O2 push sham business models like this and the Irish public, unblinking, walk past the shiny display and blue gradient bubble shite. But no, we pull up in our SUVs ad-nauseum and drool over this pathetic little hey-lets-swap-the-battery-by-ourselves-oh-wait-thats-another-shite-thing-about-it device.

More: Maddox said it way better, in case you need more help on why a positive purchasing decision on the iPhone is bat-shit crazy.

Note: I am well aware that there is the sdk that could change things… and there are circumventions, hacks, unlocking, sim swapping, buying it in the States and swapping this and that etc. But this post is directed at the demographic who will blindly agree to O2’s contract for no other reason than to get their grubby mindless hands on this pied-piper device.

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